I can’t help but get caught up in the feelings of life. It has all of the ups and the downs. Talking with some of my friends the past couple of months and they all say the same thing…. ” What do you mean you’re feeling stuck? Look at the life you live. It’s the LIFE.”
Truth be told, I love my adventure filled life. I couldn’t imagine living any other way. Recently I’ve been having some issues with the transmission in my car. So I’m basically on a schedule where I am just driving my vehicle to work and back. Other then that, if I want to go do something I have to be able to snag a ride from my friends or girlfriend. This is a really hard thing for me to do. I’m a very independent person. I really dislike having to rely on others. It’s times like these that my lifestyle can really put true consideration into my ego. Travel, travel, travel until my funds are so low I can’t even fix my vehicle. Like I said, it has all of the ups, accompanied with the downs.
So now what. I feel like there is only one thing to truly do. Take this feeling of negativity and turn it around into a positive. As much as I have been traveling around this summer climbing my face off, I have had a feeling of separation from my home. I literally would unpack my car and throw all of my gear on my bedroom floor. Wash my dirty dishes. Sometimes wash my dirty clothes. Go to work for 3 or 4 days, put it all back together and then hit the road again. It takes a toll on the mind, body, spirit balance. It’s Go, Go, Go, Go, Go. Anatomically, fight or flight. Adrenal fatigue. Stress to the body. Although I was always setting off to do what I love, it’s the things that I love that don’t really give me any alone time. No time to reflect on choices or even look and project feelings about the future. No time to heal because I’m surely not just going to sit around and look at those splitters. Damn near impossible.
Photo: Brian Johnson (@cazbrian) , Supercrack of the Desert.
Then your transmission takes a shit. Now I have all the damn time I want to sit and reflect. To project. To create. VOILA! The positive.
Now I can do whatever it was that my subconscious mind was craving here and there throughout the summer. I don’t see what the big deal is about being able to chill anyway now that I’ve been doing it for the past couple of weeks. But my body does feel good. Now it’s time for ol’ Ullr to make an appearance so that we can do it all over again through the winter! Pray For Snow!
Austin Smith (@austinl_smith) on top of Mt. Superior for sunrise. Quite the wind slabs to enter the face!
Rip on Psyche!